


Try For You

by bitsori



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hyunjin Overthinks A Lot, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 18:56:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19025917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsori/pseuds/bitsori
Summary: Seungmin is an overachiever, and sometimes Hyunjin can't help but feel like a failure next to his boyfriend. ( AU )





	Try For You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dakgalbis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dakgalbis/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> [ 1 ] This was originally going to be a simple writing exercise that didn't exceed 1000 words. Sometimes, life just doesn't go the way you want it.
> 
> [ 2 ] For M & R, because they always listen to me bitch and moan when I write. Finally writing some actual Seungjin as a thanks!!!
> 
> [ 3 ] Barely edited because this was basically a 2-hour word vomit. I'm so sorry, but I hope this is still enjoyable somehow!

— § —  


 

 

Hyunjin has always felt like time moves really slowly – _too_ slowly. Even when he was a boy, or rather, _especially_ when he was a young boy. Most of his childhood days had been spent daydreaming of a future when he’d be an older, much greater version of himself.

At 24, he doesn’t really feel much better about himself than he did at 14, but he still feels the same about time and the way it moves so lethargically.

Or, actually, maybe he feels even worse, because the last several months have felt even longer, and excruciating slow.

Maybe it's the fact that his boyfriend, Seungmin, is graduating from university in two months, armed with a cum laude standing and a double degree in Business and Political Science, which is why the last couple of months found him swamped with coursework, and with barely any free time to spare Hyunjin.

He has no idea why anyone would even _choose_ to get a degrees in both _at the same time,_ but Seungmin did, and in all the time that Hyunjin has known him, Seungmin had never gotten a mark that was below average. Clearly, not even the pursuant of concurrent degrees while juggling that with a part-time job and a blossoming social life was going to hold Seungmin back.

Considering all these things, Hyunjin thinks he can't be blamed for thinking that his boyfriend is perfect.

He wonders if he's an awful person for being so frustrated at Seungmin’s achievements sometimes, especially when here he is, having dropped out of college after two years and all he has to show for it are days spent at a sad-paying job as a dog cafe barista, and evenings spent with Minho and Felix at a cheap rental studio, chasing dreams that none of them can ever really be sure will pan out.

“Sometimes I feel like maybe I’m living vicariously through him,” Hyunjin confides once to his dance team. It’s late - around midnight, for sure, but none of them have really been checking the time.

Usually, he’s the one to try and call it a night, always in a hurry to get back home to Seungmin, if only so they can talk in bed, whispering to each other how their days have panned out, and giving each other sweet words of encouragement for the next day, until they both fall asleep in each other’s arms.

But that was before – Senior Year!Seungmin is always too tired, and most of the time these days, he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, and Hyunjin doesn’t really have the heart to bother him about it.

“What do you mean?” Felix asks, dropping down to the floor next to a sprawled out Hyunjin.

Hyunjin takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before he slowly exhales. “He wants everything in life, so he’s making everything happen,” he mumbles in explanation. He feels flushed, and it’s not just from the two hours the three of them had spent learning choreography for an upcoming competition. “And I’m… just here. Breathing in the reflected glory.”

“What are you even talking about?” Minho’s normally soft tone has an edge to it when he speaks up. “You’re not _just here,_ you’re here and you’re living your life.”

“Yeah, but it’s not—” Hyunjin sighs. “Seungmin is so productive. Did I tell you he got into Sungkyungkwan’s Law School?”

“Wait, really?!” Felix sounds like he’s in awe, and that almost makes Hyunjin chuckle; he’s proud of Seungmin, he really, truly is, it’s just hard when he feels like such a failure in comparison.

Minho sighs; he wipes sweat off his face with a small towel, and then he sits next to Hyunjin and Felix, handing a water bottle to each of them. “Do you not enjoy dancing anymore?”

“It’s not that, hyung—” Hyunjin winces, finally sitting up so he can receive the bottle and properly drink from it. He hates the tinge of disappointment in Minho’s tone. “I love to dance, but—”

“Look,” Minho interrupts him. He shakes his head, and his tone softens again. “If you love what you’re doing, then think about it this way—Seungmin is also just doing what he loves, isn’t he?”

Between the two of them, Felix is nodding his head eagerly and in agreement after gulping down half the water in his bottle, and grateful for the two of them, Hyunjin actually manages to smile a little.  “The difference is he’s succeeding at what he loves, hyung.”

“Hyunjin, if you’re calling yourself a failure, then you’re calling _us—”_ Minho gestures towards himself and Felix, “—failures as well.” He scoffs. “If that’s going to be your attitude, then just quit, and pursue something else, you know? But I’m pretty sure that’s not what you want.”

Hyunjin grows quiet and for several seconds, he just sits there, gnawing at the opening of his water bottle. The way Minho talks sometimes is so matter-of-fact, and it’s scary – like there’s absolutely no room for debate, but he also knows that Minho’s candor is just a sign that he actually cares.

“You aren’t leaving us, are you Hyunjin?” Felix says, smiling sweetly as leans over and offers Hyunjin a sideways hug. The act of affection softens Hyunjin, and he easily leans into the Australian ex-pat’s hug. Where Minho can be blunt, Felix is _always_ soft, and together they’re the perfect balance to ease Hyunjin’s constant overthinking.

“Of course not,” he says finally, the smile he gives Felix reassuring, while the one he shoots Minho’s way is more apologetic. The older shakes his head immediately – a gesture to mean that no apologies are needed. “Was just having a moment.”

“Of course you were,” Minho retorts, clicking his tongue, but one corner of his lip is twitching, a sign that he’s simply holding back a smile.

Truthfully, Hyunjin still doesn’t feel like any less of a failure, but Minho and Felix at least give him the hope that the future still holds a better version of him.

“Come on,” he says, grinning as he jumps up to his feet. “We still have ten minutes paid for, so let’s run through the routine one more time?”

 

 

 

Hyunjin and Seungmin were 16 when they first met. It was the first day of school, and Hyunjin had been late to assembly because his dog had _peed_ on his leather shoes – which was also why he’d needed to wear his trainers instead. He was feeling pretty mortified because he’s _never_ late for anything, but luckily he’d managed to slip into the back of the assembly right as everyone was just starting to gather.

Seungmin had been at the very back of the line, and when Hyunjin got there, he’d looked over his shoulder, eyes narrowed with disapproval at Hyunjin’s appearance. Hyunjin felt like shrinking into his shoes right then and there, but instead he managed to offer a sheepish smile which had been promptly returned with an awkward, but curious one.

It wasn’t an instant friendship; Hyunjin spent his first year juggling his time between dance club and the soccer team, while Seungmin was in student council and the baseball team, being groomed to be the next ace once the current starting pitcher graduated later that year. They were in the same class, but Seungmin sat near the front, while Hyunjin preferred to sit in the middle where he could diligently listen to the teacher, but easily avoid getting called on too much.

At the start of their second year of high school, Seungmin had arrived on the first day of school with his arm on a sling, and everyone had been collectively shocked to learn that he’d been involved in a bad skiing accident over winter break – and the doctor had advised against playing baseball for at least a year. If Hyunjin was to be honest, he’d done his best attempting to avoid Seungmin during the start of that year; he was always irritable and he constantly had his nose buried in his books anyway. It wasn’t until the start of the fall term, when their homeroom teacher assigned Seungmin to tutor Hyunjin who was close to failing Advanced Algebra.

It was funny how quickly how everything had clicked after that. After a year and a half of hardly ever talking, Seungmin helps Hyunjin get a passing mark in Algebra and suddenly they were best friends.

By their senior year, they were inseparable, and by graduation – Hyunjin was just a little bit in love with Seungmin. He wanted so bad to confess his feelings, but he didn’t really feel worthy of Seungmin who was soon headed to Yonsei; so he held back, and they ended high school with nothing more than a tight hug and sweet proclamations of _I’ll miss you so much._

It wasn’t until their class had their reunion a year later that Hyunjin _finally_ made a move. “I like you,” he’d told Seungmin, under the influence of two and a half bottles of soju. “I’ve liked you since high school, and I would really like it if you let me kiss you.”

“Maybe ask me when you’re sober, won’t you?” Seungmin had answered, amused but also a little shaky, like he wasn’t sure that Hyunjin was truly saying what he was saying.

He’d almost chickened out in the morning, embarrassed, but then he’d noticed the bottle of raisin tea, left on his dresser with a note from Seungmin— _Take care of yourself, - KSM._ Somehow, just from that, his chest had swelled with uncharacteristic confidence and even while sporting a ridiculous hangover, he’d forced himself to get out of bed before he can chicken out.

“I like you,” he told Seungmin as soon as the latter had opened his apartment door for Hyunjin. It had taken him 3 bus stops to get there, and Hyunjin was pretty sure he looked like shit, but the look on Seungmin’s face when he saw Hyunjin standing in front of his apartment was priceless and very much worth it.  “I’ve liked you since high school, and I would really like it if you let me kiss you.” He paused, and laughed sheepishly. “And I’m completely sober now, if a little hungover.”

And just like that, their love story had finally begun.

  


 

 

“Good morning,” Seungmin greets him in the morning, smiling as he sets a mug of warm coffee in front of Hyunjin after the latter settles down in front of their small dining table. “I made egg rolls,” he adds, gesturing at the impeccably made rolls sitting in the middle of the table.

“Thanks,” Hyunjin tells his boyfriend, offering him a tired, but grateful smile.

“What time did you get home last night?”

“Around 3, I guess?” Hyunjin shrugs, his memory of the previous evening still a little hazy. Minho had treated him and Felix to a round of drinks after practice – _‘For Hyunjin’s peace of mind,’_  he’d said.

“I’ve missed you,” Seungmin admits quietly, cautious even as he reaches across the table to take Hyunjin’s hand.

They’ve been together for almost three years, and even now Seungmin is bad at initiating affection. It would be annoying, except Hyunjin kind of basks in the fact that very few people can make his boyfriend act so soft-hearted, and among that list, he’s definitely at the top. At least with him, Seungmin always tries.

“Hey—” Hyunjin drags his chair over and deposits himself right next to Seungmin, where he can easily hug his boyfriend from the side; he sighs and nuzzles Seungmin’s shoulder right before he places a chaste kiss on his cheek. His boyfriend always smells like a strange mix of freshly brewed coffee and baby powder in the morning, and Hyunjin is in love with it.

“Felix and Minho-hyung called me last night,” Seungmin suddenly says, surprising Hyunjin. He has no idea when that could have happened; Seungmin must have noticed his confusion, because he chuckles and immediately gives Hyunjin’s nose a quick peck. “I vaguely recall Minho-hyung saying something about hurrying the call because you weren’t going to be in the bathroom forever—it was obvious that they were both a wee bit tipsy.”

Hyunjun winces. “What did they say?” He’s nervous, for some reason, and this isn’t helping the faint throbbing in his head. “What did they want to talk about?”

“That I should remind you that you’re not really a failure—that I should stop _making_ you feel like one, because—” Seungmin laughs, “—according to Minho-hyung, you’re one day going to become a world famous dancer, representing South Korea.”

“Minho-hyung said that?!”

“I told you. They were both a little drunk,” Seungmin points out with a soft chuckle. “Maybe more than a little.”

So perhaps the truth is that while Minho had paid for _one_ round of drinks, the three of them hadn’t exactly stopped at that. He vaguely recalls Minho’s boyfriend, Jisung – who had gone to university with Hyunjin, and who was the one to introduce him to both Minho and Felix – arriving to pick the other two up. He also sort of recalls being helped into a cab, but not much after that. He barely remembers how he got into bed—

 _“Oh,”_ he croaks, as bits and pieces from the previous night appear in his mind. “You picked me up last night, didn’t you?”

Seungmin hums. “They might have also said that you needed someone to get you home,” he explains.

Hyunjin’s face contorts into a pained expression. “I’m so sorry, Seungminnie, you really didn’t need the hassle—”

“Hyunjin—” Seungmin sighs and leans close, nose nuzzling against Hyunjin’s cheek. “You’re never a hassle. And more than that, you’re definitely _not_ a failure.”

Hyunjin averts his gaze – Seungmin  isn't really the sort to sugarcoat his words, and Hyunjin wouldn't want him to start just for him.

Seungmin laughs and nudges his side, making a transparent attempt to ease the tension. "Well," he purses his lips, pausing for a second. "Not yet."

Hyunjin frowns harder at the supposed joke. “I know you have your thesis to work on, and so many other schoolwork, and—I’m sorry to be a burden, Seungminnie.”

“Hyunjin.” The way Seungmin says his name this time is more solemn, but just a little bit pleading. “I finished my thesis yesterday, okay? And once I present it next week, I’m going to be all yours for the next month or so. You’re not a burden.” He pauses, and his lips curve into a loving smile that allows Hyunjin to accept that the next words out of Seungmin’s mouth are completely genuine. "I believe in you."

They look at each other, and then they burst in soft, combined giggles.

“Thank you,” Hyunjin whispers, leaning in and resting his forehead against Seungmin’s.

“Do you believe that I believe in you?”

Hyunjin does; he believes in Seungmin’s absolute faith in him — the problem was always that he couldn’t believe in himself. His eyes twinkle with obvious uncertainty, which makes his boyfriend sigh.

“You’re ridiculous,” Seungmin comments, exasperated but fond. “I’m going to put all my belief in you, until it finally rubs off, and you start believing in yourself too.”

Hyunjin nods, allowing Seungmin’s love and absolute belief to envelope him, even if only in that moment. He figures he can deal with other things later, because suddenly Seungmin is kissing him, softly, sweetly and full of so much tenderness that Hyunjin almost feels like nothing else matters, because right then and there, he truly feels like he’s on top of the world.

 

 

 

 **lmh1998:**  
hey idiots i got some great news

 **powerhwang:**  
what is it hyung?

 **leejjikseu:**  
!!! what goes on!!

 **lmh1998:**  
rmb when i sent out our dance tapes to some guys i knew from before?  
who would’ve thought that kinda hustle would actually pay off?  
some bigshot manager fr jyp is starting a small agency and one of my dancer hyungs showed him our tape  
he wants to see us in person  
but he’s interested in hiring us as in-house choreographers and dance instructors

 **powerhwang:** **  
** u’re not joking with us hyung?!?

 **lmh1998:**  
why the fuck would i jk abt this lol  
brace urselves  
this is just the start for us ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

  


 

 

_fin._

**Author's Note:**

> [ 4 ] Feedback is much appreciated if you've enjoyed this! Feel free to ask me anything, or like generally just yell about SKZ over at my [CC](http://curiouscat.me/yiminho) ♥


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